🔥89. by my name

session 89 • september 05 2023 • 3,149 words

🌑 DAY 28 • 📅 MARPENOTH 18

📌 The Darklake (Near Sloopbloodoop)

We settle down to camp near the shore of the Darklake (a little bit inland because no one wants to be troll food).

Soren decides to go forage around the lakeside to try and find some possible new plants to brew potions for the party with. Worried for Soren's safety and wanting to spend more time with him, Sildar volunteers to go with him. Best blind bodyguard NA.

Soren half-jokingly tells Sildar not to fear, he'll keep them safe. Sildar is like "; ; I'm supposed to protect you wuuwuuuwu"

Eat Your Heart Out

Back at the party's campsite, WIll starts setting up for dinner. Seeing Ront loiter around like always like the useless sack of dookie he is, Will asks Ront to help.

Ront demands more food for his help; Will agrees. Topsy overhears and ASS BLASTS the entire camp that "WILL SAID WE ARE GETTING EXTRA FISH TONIGHT". Will tries to backtrack but can't because of how cute and excited and happy the kids are.

Ront takes Hugh's axe to go chop wood but threatens to keep it if he doesn't get his promised extra food.

Will cooks extra fish LMAO omg softie boii

Will notices Nezznar also loitering around like the sack of dookie he is, and extends the same request to Nezznar, asking him to help with prep. This goes over as well as you would expect, with Nezznar scorning what he deems "slave work".

As Will shrugs it off, Nezznar grows more agitated, demanding to know what he has done to make Will think that he would willingly, happily help the group cook food, wondering if Will is just so delusional.

Eventually, Will offers something in return for his help. When Nezznar asks what exactly, Will paniccs and... offers him prosthetic legs to replace the ones that Ilvara chopped off?? OMG

Nezznar loses his entire mind, and snarls that if Will ever disrespects him like this again, he would rip his throat out.

Will goes back to prepping food like :(

Buppido sidles over and checks in with Will, who is just a sad sack. Buppido is sympathetic that Will is getting "bullied" by Nezznar, and notes that similarly, the derro of Gracklestuch didn't stand up for themselves and allowed themselves to be pushed into the slums of the city.

Buppido then offers Will some very ominous advice: when you have the courage to bite back, it might be too late.

Lakeside Date

As they walk, Soren explains some of the fauna and flora of the Underdark and how he used to harvest them when he was younger. The conversation is pleasant and they have a good time, but Soren manages to roll insight high enough to see that something is deeply bothering Sildar.

Sildar admits to the frustrations and shame that have been building up over the past tenday. Soren realizes how stifling his attempts at protecting Sildar has been. However, still unwilling to give in and allow Sildar to join the fray, Soren truthfully points out that he did not fall in love with Sildar for his ability to see or fight, but rather, for his unwavering courage and heart.

With flowery words, Soren reassures Sildar that this stint in the Underdark is just one chapter of the long story they have ahead of them, and that they would find their way.

Sildar, still frustrated, points out that the party has grown in leaps and bounds—at the start, he was the party's "dad friend" and protector but now he is just dragging the party down. Soren retorts that the only reason the party has grown and made it so far was because of Sildar's guidance.

Soren reminds Sildar how much his promise (that Sildar would come to Soren's aid if he so much as called his name) resonated with him and lit the way for him when he was in a very dark place, and asks Sildar to let Soren protect him for once.

Sildar, touched, finally relents and notes that he has more than he could ever ask for. He still wishes he could protect Soren; Soren says that Sildar is protecting his spirit just by being by his side. Sildar says that he will always be by Soren's side, no matter what.

(Oh boy this conversation is surely not setting up for any future pain, right? Right?)

The two enjoy the rest of their lake walk until Sildar points out that Will seems to be cooking an IMMENSE amount of fish LMFAO

Training

When we return, Sildar notices that Hugh has finished the shield he made for Will (?) out of zurkhwood, and compliments it, noting that he didn't know Hugh was so artisinal.

Hugh notes that "sometimes, when you're in a new place, you need to learn new things".

LMAO Sildar just had a midlife crisis about stagnating and not being strong enough for the party. Sildar is stunned and wonders if this is Targeted Micro-Aggression.

Will avoids Soren bc he is just a littol puppy who know Sorb gonna get mad about the extra fish, but Topsy runs by going "WILL IS GIVING US DOUBLE FOOD" and Will eventually admits that he (kinda) agreed to give everyone extra fish.

Soren makes a snide comment about how the party keeps telling him to "communicate before making any decisions", but notes that it seems to only apply to himself. Still, he is uncharacteristically easygoing about this.

He encourages everyone to eat their fill, but bitterly excludes Ront from this, saying that he is not allowed to eat at all because he hasn't been pulling his weight. Ront is initially furious, and Hugh pulls Soren aside to explain that Ront's "gotta get his extra food or he won't give back the axe".

Soren gets more bitter, accusing Hugh of pandering to the weak and pointing out that they could just take the axe back by force. Hugh continues trying to argue for Ront's sake, pointing out that Ront's physique can be used for fighting and manual labor.

Soren considers this and leverages Ront's remaining fear of the drow/spiders from Velkynvelve to roll that thicc intimidation check. He says that Ront may receive extra food today, but that Ront would need to perform extra chores to make up for it or they would dump his body into the lake.

Ront is o-o and very sad sack about this. Soren changes tunes and adds that if Ront performs especially well, he might even get rewarded again. Ront takes this well, and promises to pull his own weight.

Hugh tries to give Ront his extra fish, but Sorne stops him and makes Ront give the axe back FIRST before "receiving his reward". Will watches Soren's development apprehensively.

On My Shoulders

Sildar chides Will for making the decision to cook extra food without the group, and WIll apologizes, and feeling very anxious and sad from the entire day's ordeal, walks away to be alone by a rock on the lake.

Soren catches up to him and brushes off the incident with Ront, noting that he's not angry at Will for giving out extra food--Will "can't help it", after all.

Soren continues to reassure Will that he understands what he has to do now: the surfacers can be as soft as they feel comfortable being, and Soren will take on the responsibility of doing "what needs to be done".

Will is NOT reassured by this change in Soren.

Soren returns to the group, and notices Nezznar sulking in the corner, made more upset by his last interaction with Will and the reminder of his missing legs.

Not aware of this, Soren assumes that Nezznar is in a foul mood due to yesterday’s “Ilvara fiasco” and realizes that he has to deal with this before Nezznar’s anger surely spirals and explodes. Soren asks Sildar to please come intervene if Nezznar “tries to bite my face off” and reluctantly approaches his former master.

Like objectively this is so fucking sad lmao????

Soren is afraid that Nezznar is pissed at him for telling Nezz to “heel” when pretending to be Ilvara,,, but Nezznar is just horrified that he froze up when “Ilvara” appeared and is afraid that Soren is going to tell him to fuck off now that it’s clear how weak he is. ????? Everyone needs therapy beat me w a broom

No Place For Deceit

Soren politely greets Nezznar, who assumes Soren is here to chide him about being mean to Will and immediately becomes defensive abt it. Soren , who didn’t know anything happened b/t Will and Nezz, is like…. “Hm yes that is totally why I am here, I just uhhh wanted to hear your side of things?”

This ends up devolving into both of them complaining about Ront getting more food; Soren shares that he’s figured out how to intimidate Ront—by threatening him with spiders due to the Velkynvelve Trauma :tm: .

Nezznar is amused by this but still worries that Ront will be a long-term problem eventually due to his stupidity and physical strength. Soren unsubtly hints that if Ront becomes a problem, he could “mysteriously die in the middle of the night”; Nezznar is very pleased.

Soren weakly jokes that if anyone deserves more food, it should be Nezznar due to his hazardous attempts at harvesting Timmask earlier.

Nezznar is surprisingly contrite about his failure to harvest the Timmask (and his subsequent accidental hurting of Soren). Soren is confused at Nezznar’s humility, but brushes it off, noting that Timmask are notoriously difficult to harvest.

Soren also acknowledges when Nezznar helped him with the trapdoor spider, again weakly joking that Nezznar must have “fallen into that hole” accidentally, trying to thank him while avoiding the mention that Nezznar “intentionally helped” the former slave bc that might set him off lmao.

Nezznar ALSO avoids that, saying that he was only keeping his word from when he promised Soren in Velkynvelve to help him and the party, in exchange for Soren calling him “master” again.

LMAO this is a fucking disaster.

Soren questions the lute incident (where Nezznar traded information and suffered Jakoth’s scorn in order to gift Soren the lute). Nezznar tries to lie that Jakoth threw in the lute for free LMAO and Soren is like………………. Generosity?? In MY Jakoth? It’s less likely than you think

Increasingly bewildered by Nezznar’s lack of anger and strange behavior, Soren finally asks what is going on with Nezznar, fearing that Nezznar is putting on a facade in order to try and get revenge on Soren later. Nezznar is shocked at the allegation, and tries to brush past everything.

When Soren half-jokingly asks if Nezznar is going to try and kill him in his sleep for the Ilvara incident, Nezznar denies that he’s even angry or upset. Sensing something wrong, Soren notes that “we are no longer in Menzoberranzan, master. While I lead this group, there is no place for deceit.” — embracing for the first time his role as “leader”, and demanding a truthful answer from Nezznar.

White Lies

Feeling cornered and worried about being useless, Nezznar blurts out that with enough time, he might be able to find out a way to cast magic again, promising to be more helpful to the party.

Soren is completely blindsided by this change in topic LMAO and is like “dafuq ur magic??” Before noting that they would be in a very different situation if Nezznar regained his casting abilities.

Nezznar misunderstands Soren’s concern and agrees, pointing out that none of the threats they’ve been facing would be an issue, and he could even match Ilvara evenly in combat if he was at his full power.

Bitterly, Soren agrees but points out that Nezznar would likely have used his powers to hurt the party as well— “you’d make short work of the monsters, of the guards… but also of your renegade slave and the surfacers who took you down.”

Nezznar is unable to respond. Trying to change the subject, Soren mutely compliments Nezznar’s magic, citing the several times Nezznar had come back wounded after fighting off “dozens of assassins” alone at the Xorlarrin compound.

(FOR CONTEXT! : ) — RP LOG HERE -- Nezznar would get punished by his Matron and then come back and tell Soren that he was fighting off assassins etc, because he didn’t want Soren thinking less of him. After a particularly bad incident where Nezznar was left unconscious, Soren healed and nursed Nezznar back to health for which Nezznar was grateful; marking a new level of trust and closeness between the two.)

In disbelief, Nezznar tells Soren that he can stop “going along” with that lie to save Nezznar face. There were never any assassins, and that no assassins could have ever hurt him so badly—“only my Matron”.

Soren’s world is UTTERLY shattered, realizing that each of the many times Nezznar had been badly wounded, it had not been in a fierce battle like Nezznar said but instead due to punishment by Matron Zeerith Q’Xorlarrin. Horrified and furious, Soren demands to know why Nezznar lied to him.

Nezznar tries to deflect, promising that he would one day return to Menzoberranzan in power and help Soren ascend to power too, and he would never let the matriarchy hurt either of them again. Soren, however, is enraged and continues demanding to know why Nezznar lied to him— deeply hurt and lamenting when he had thought he and Nezznar were getting “closer”.

Nezznar insists that he HAD to lie; “how was I supposed to tell you, a SLAVE, about my issues?” Before eventually admitting that he was worried Soren would think less of him.

You, A Dog

Ohohoohoho. Soren loses his entire mind about this.

Soren demands to know that “I was loyal, I was good at what I did, I tore the hearts out of everyone who cared about me when you gave the word. So why did I lose favor with you?” Citing the last two years during which Nezznar became suddenly especially cruel towards him after it seemed that they were getting closer.

Nezznar: What do you want me to say? I let a slave get too close; that was a mistake. I was doing what I needed to do, treating you like a drow should treat their slaves. Everything I did back then was for the best for House Xorlarrin, the best for you. One day you will understand.

OHOHOOHOHO SOREN LOSES HIS MIND MORE.

Yeah I'm just gonna have to start quoting bc Idk how to summarize this shit

Soren: Right, a slave. Just a slave, after all this time. When I first arrived at your house, before I got my first taste of your lightning, do you know what I thought? I thought: if I played my cards right, I might gain a friend. But there were no cards to play. You complained to me every day about how your family didn’t see you as more despite everything you did for them—you are so, so clever Master, but you couldn’t see the irony?

As Soren continues, he gets increasingly agitated, going so far as to say (in Undercommon, so no one nearby understands it but WHOOooOOOO boi): If you had, in those 30 years, showed me that I meant anything to you, we’d be standing in front of that Forge right now. You say there are things I don’t understand because I’m lowborn—but understand this, Master, you could have had more in that battle when the surfacers came for you. You could have had your bard, a friend, a brother… but you were content with a dog.

Nezznar retorts: “Did you think I wanted you??? A dog?”

If you listen closely, you can hear Soren’s heart shatter into a million little pieces! :)

“Master”

Angrily, Soren cites an incident during his time serving Nezznar, in which they lost their memories while hunting in the Middledark-- Soren states that though Nezznar did not regain his memories of the incident, they were happy when they did not know each other's identities, and got alone well.

Nezznar admits that he has retained memories of the incident all along. Despite being happy when he thought he was "friends" with Soren, when they returned, Nezznar was punished for leaving the House in danger, and he thus became cruel towards Soren again--knowing that their friendship was a reality that could not persist back in Menzoberranzan.

Deeply shaken by the idea that Nezznar tortured him not out of cruelty but out of some twisted sense of protection, Soren loses his shit for the third time that day. When Nezznar tries to claim that there was no other way, Soren points out that Nezznar destroyed their relationship for nothing except the futile attempt to "win the favor of a matron who would never give you a second glance".

The conversation turns to the idea of Nezznar escaping Menzoberranzan, where he was never happy, with Soren and living out life on the surface; when Nezznar shoots it down, Soren--thoroughly enraged at what has been lost--tells Nezznar to leave the party and continue his travels alone.

Nezznar is horrified at this and initially tries to convince Soren that he's too important to be thrown away like this; when Soren doesn't budge, Nezznar turns to pleading to stay. He reaches out to touch Soren's shoulder.

Soren explodes, instinctively casting Hellish Rebuke (3rd level) in retaliation--"No, you will never touch me, you will never hurt me again!"

The screaming draws the attention of Will and the others, who come running to investigate. Nezznar suffers severe burns as a result of the spell.

Soren furiously and hysterically demands that Nezznar "return to me everything you've taken away from me--thirty years spent on his knees, on my back, give me back my family, my dignity, give it all back to me."

When Nezznar is unable to respond, Soren tells him "safe travels, master", before turning to leave.

Quietly, Nezznar asks that Soren stop calling him "master". Taken aback, Soren bitterly asks if Nezznar would prefer "my lord almighty". Nezznar asks Soren to call him by his name.

Soren sounds Nezznar's name hesitantly, having lost all steam at Nezznar's uncharacteristic humility. He returns to Nezznar's side and offers him a health potion--offering to taste it first for poison. Nezznar stops Soren from doing so, willingly drinking the potion.

Deflated, Soren notes Nezznar's wounds and tries to explain himself, saying that he thought Nezznar was going to attack him.

Mutely, Nezznar brushes off the "apology" and agrees to be led to the Darklake when Soren offers to help nurse his wounds in the cold water--"I think that might be best, Soren"--referring to Soren as "Soren" for the first time, instead of "Sorennar", his "drow" name.

mamma mia that was a long convo