🦁35. the lion, the witch and the demon lords
session 35 • 7/26/2022 • 2,505 words
🌞 DAY 10 • 📅 HARVESTIDE
📌 Thundertree
Pax's Magic Shoppe
Introductions
The group cautiously approaches the store. Everyone is sussy af. Soren and Will both say "well, that wasn't there before" and then look awkwardly at each other.
Hugh matter-of-factly states that Pax must have an army of gnomes who built the shop for her. Though slightly doubtful of this fact, the party cautiously knocks on the door, and when there's a cordial answer, we enter.
We see a half-orc woman with war paint on her face, manning the counter of what seems to be a magic shop with various herbs and plants. She greets us cheerfully. Hugh demands to know if she stole our rothe, which are a little way down the road, and Pax is confusion.
A brief conversation reveals that Pax's magic shoppe is a travelling store, and that she hasn't been back at Thundertree for centuries -- she's confused that it's now in ruins, and laments one of her favorite vacation spots is now full of undead and spiders.
(The party knows that half-orcs generally live for 70-80 years, and are suddenly aware that they are in the presence of a Big Dick Wizard)
Soren suggests that Pax could go to Phandalin, where there are adventurers aplenty. Pax remarks on how the Redbrands have scared off most adventurers, and the party lets her know that we've cleared them all out and killed their leader.
Will, who is close to the Phandalin folk and didn't even know about the bandits terrorizing them:
Shopping: Hugh
Hugh approaches Pax and starts rattling off items that he wants for himself and Droop (mostly Droop...)
He purchases a Gauntlets of Ogre Power for Droop:
He then talks about how Venomfang nearly killed us, asking for stuff that will help "us not get killed by dragons". He also asks for something that will help him read minds, because he's not good at reading people.
Unfortunately, Pax didn't have items that could do that, but offered a mind-reading potion, which Hugh declines for being too expensive. She also offers him helms that can help augment his charger feat, as well as turn him into a triceratops that can gore people by charging. Hugh is tempted by the latter, but we don't have enough money to get it.
Soren /message's Hugh to tell him that Soren will give him any gold he needs to purchase items, Hugh is like no spend it on yourself.
Shopping: Soren
Soren goes up to the counter; Sildar follows. Soren tricks him into going across the store to stare at a magic item that Soren had "hit the button on, tell me what happens".
Sildar and Will stare at the magical item with great intensity LMAOOOO
Soren explains, secretively, to Pax that he might be going into some large human cities soon, and that he needs something that can help... "you know, not incite mass panic", citing Pax's likely similar experiences as a half-orc. Pax says "oh, say less", and comes out with a circlet.
Soren is ecstatic. The group have a discussion about transferring enchantments; Soren seems tempted to purchase an enchantment transfer, but decides against it upon hearing how much it would cost. Hugh purchases a transfer for
Pax seems to flirt with Soren(?) Soren takes it in stride and smiles at her, but does not pursue.
Shopping: Will
Will can't afford any of Pax's bows and is sad pupper ; - ; He ends up buying a gray Bag of Tricks, and seems very happy with his purchase.
The party realizes that it's Harvestide! Pax mentions a festival nearby being hosted by the gnomish/halfling village of Honeypuddle. It's called the Pudding Faire, and people "dance around a pudding then eat it". Will has heard of it before, but has never had a chance to go, and is eager to visit for a good time.
Shopping: Payment
When it comes time to pay, Hugh attempts to barter for a discount on his items, but is curt about it ("I'll give you xxx gp instead"), which annoys Pax.
Soren hurriedly steps in and tries to reason that the more money the party has to play games at Pudding Faire, the more money they can make in order to come back and buy more things from her.
Begrudgingly, she agrees to give the party a discount in the spirit of Harvestide.
Shopping: Droop
Droop is presently TERRIFIED of the talking doll sitting on Pax's counter, which is understandable because it looks like Chucky if he got run over by a horse carriage.
He pleads with the group to leave.
To calm him down, Will lets him pull a fluffy ball out of the Bag of Tricks; Droop pulls out an owl! He is very concerned that Will was keeping birds in the bag, and then proceeds to try and get into it himself.
Soren admires the bird of prey, petting it and trying to start a conversation with Will about his interest in animals. Will brightens up at this talk of animals, and Soren tells him that they have a pink turtle named Truffle and a sort-of-puppy named Gravy back at Phandalin. Will gets very excited at the prospect of meeting them.
Shopping: ...Demon Lords
Eventually, the subject turns to fiends and mystical creatures, when Soren explains to Will that they had saved Gravy from a pack of Yeenoghu worshippers, and Pax inquires about their close call wit the Demon Lord of Hunger.
Pax begins talking about her research interest in the structure of the Abyss (a multi-hundred-layer plane) and the demons that reside in it.
She scares the group with tales of how terrifying the Abyss is: of creatures whose jaws can chew through adamantium armor like butter, and an Abyssal layer comprises of celestials being strung up and tortured. Will expresses especial fear at the latter.
Upon seeing that Pax is extremely knowledgeable in matters of the Abyss, Soren inquires about the "Lady of Decay and Rot" that Reidoth had previously mentioned to be related to Hugh's headache / brain buddy. Pax notes that she's a lesser known Demon Lord, but a dangerous one all the same: her name is Zuggtmoy.
Hugh unsubtly tries to discern if Zuggtmoy "eats brains", saying he's asking for a friend when Pax gets sussy. Pax, bless her heart, rolls like 3 insight and is like "YES I also love talking about demonology" and pops off. We learn that there are fungi that take over their hosts -- it's not a stretch to think that the Demon Lord of Fungi can do similar things.
Hugh is :(
Soren inquires about his own DILF, citing scientific curiosity (which Pax again believes), and Pax explains that research is unclear on what exactly the entity called Graz'zt is (devil or demon) -- but he's most certainly a fiend. Pax also recalls a rumor among the wizarding community that Graz'zt commonly appears to accomplished wizards in order to bed them.
Soren is :o
Sildar is >:(
In the horrified silence that follows, Will is like:
reminding the group that there is FUN and GAMES in their NEAR FUTURE, hopefully BEFORE death, torture and/or humiliation that their respective DILFs will impose upon them.
Will then ushers the group outside to wait for Hugh's axe to finish getting enchanted.
Someone You're Not
Soren ducks around the corner as the group settles down in front of the storefront, telling the group that he has something to show them.
He comes back around the corner looking like:
Sildar: oh shit, i mean, you look good, but what??
While the group is surprised pikachu, Soren somewhat excitedly explains that it must be tiring for Will to keep looking at a drow after what happened to his village; and now Sildar's reputation won't be ruined when he brings Soren back to Neverwinter/Waterdeep ("I know you said you don't care what other people think of you, but I do. I don't want you to get flak because I'm with you.")
This is, of course, met with immediate opposition.
Will tells Soren that he shouldn't try to be someone he's not ("It's still you under there, isn't it? You're just sort of pretending").
Sildar tells Soren that the sort of people who would care that Sildar is "hanging out" with a drow aren't the sort of people he would want to associate with anyway. A little deflated, Soren reminds Sildar that people sometimes attack drow on sight, and he doesn't want Sildar to be put in danger.
Sildar says that he can protect Soren, and that he would also protect himself so that he can protect Soren longer.
Sildar does, however, acknowledge that since they're heading to a small village of halflings and gnomes, they might encounter some resistance / unpleasantries against drow. Will goes back into the shop to ask Pax how Honeypuddle feels about drow.
Pax explains the same reasoning as Sildar mentioned: that small villages tend to be wary or even fearful of drow because "they tend to ravage small towns", sending Will through 800 stages of grief speedrun any%. Pax and Droop both check in with a clearly depression session Will; Will tries to lie, but Droop sees through him.
Stress Balls
Will says that he'll be OK and pulls out a literal stressball from the Bag of Tricks, which turns into a lion. Will gets so excited about the lion!!! I will die for this soft boye.
Sildar also checks in with Will to see if he's OK after he still looks a little shaken after his conversation with Pax. Will mentions that they talked about villages, which Sildar understands. Will lets Hugh pull out a fuzzy ball from the Bag of Tricks as a treat. It becomes a giant goat!!! Hugh rides it happily.
As Hugh, with much difficulty, tries to get Droop to attune to the gloves. Droop eventually settles down and starts trying to concentrate on the gloves; it is unclear if he is properly attuning to it. Hugh gets Fabulous Five engraved on his armor; in the meantime, Soren goes into the shoppe to buy another Bag of Tricks for Will, pretending that Hugh needed him. (Hugh did need him to decide on a font for the engraving lmao)
Will wonders if Vyerith (who has been tied up and left in a corner this whole time) likes animals. Vyerith basically says "only as food :)))", spitefully, because she's malding.
As the sun rises, the animals from the Bag of Tricks disappear. Soren goes "oh no! anyways" and gives Will the other bag he purchased, because "it looks like it made you happy". Will is surprised and very happy.
Some discussion is had and it's revealed that Soren (and Annie :(( im babbie) thought the Bag of Tricks were one-time uses, meaning Soren spent over 100 gp just to give Will (what he thought would be) a shot of dopamine.
Will asks Soren to pull a ball out of the bag; Soren pulls a giant rat out of the bag.
Soren:
Soren expresses immediate disdain and backs away, Will tries to comfort him by saying that it's his friend; Soren tries to be amiable about the rat but ends up telling it to go play with Hugh, who has a time with it.
Meanwhile, Droop suddenly lifts Hugh!!! He has attuned to the Gauntlets of Ogre Strength!!! Everyone is shookth. Droop runs around with Hugh, delighted with his newfound strength. My BELOVED.
Tymora's Patience
As we collect our items from Pax and say our goodbyes, we make our way towards where we left the Rothe. On the way there, we are met with a very, very angy Garaele!!! My beloved.
She's out of breath, running, and pissed about Hugh's vague and very alarming letter; she says that she dropped everything and started running, and hasn't slept since.
We give her a very brief and apologetic rundown of the past few days. :(( Hugh says sorry a lot to her.
Garaele eventually calms down and requests that next time we send her an ominous letter, we include more details. She agrees to take Gundren and Vyerith back to Phandalin, and to throw Vyerith in prison for us while we travel to Honeypuddle.
Will offers her water, then a fuzzy ball from the Bag of Tricks, which turns into a dire wolf!! Garaele notes that she can ride it back, and does so with Gundren and Vyerith on its back as well -- though not before reminding the group of our Conyberry mission, as well as that we owe her an explanation for everything.
She also says that she looks forward to hearing "Will's story" before she leaves. Will, alarmed that she might know about his celestial heritage, immediately turns to Hugh and is like "wOT did you tell her".
Hugh does not disclose. :)
Someone Else's Burden
Droop, still lifting Hugh, demands to carry Hugh the whole way because "Hugh carries me all the time". He struggles because Hugh has a bunch of shit on him; eventually, Hugh convinces Droop to let him drop his items off on the Rothe; Droop is able to carry Hugh after that, albeit a little slowly!
Upon seeing Hugh get carried, Soren @ Sildar: 👀
Sildar, who was already concerned about Soren's slow movement from his 3 levels of exhaustion, asks Soren to put his bag down on the Rothe as well and then picks him up. 🥺
(Chris has clarified that Sildar was carrying Soren like this:)
As the group travels, Will thanks Soren once more for the Bag of Tricks. Soren bluntly tells Will that "I feel like this is going to be a recurring thing; so frankly, I don't see myself ever making up for the things I, and my people, have done, so please just let me buy you dinner and little trinkets occasionally."
Will is thoughtful for a moment, but tells Soren solemnly that "you shouldn't have to shoulder the things that other people have done".
MEANWHILE TOP LANE, Droop is getting exhausted from carrying Hugh, but is determined to keep going. Hugh asks him to put him down so Droop can save his strength for the faire. Eventually, Hugh dangles a piece of beef jerky in front of Droop's face like a carrot on a stick, which infuses Droop with motivation enough to keep going.
Droop also offers to carry Will, who says no thank you.
📌 Honeypuddle Village
Glittergold
The group arrives at Honeypuddle to behold a bustling fairground full of fluttering pennants and lines of rainbow colored bunting. There are stalls selling food and drink, as well as penned showgrounds for animals and games.
As the group watches, they witness what looks like an argument between two gnomes in the village plaza that rapidly devolves into shouting and gesturing. There's a puff of smoke, and when it clears, there is a giant frog sitting in where the gnomes were.
Will: Ooh do you think they also have a Bag of Tricks??
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