🍫27. s'mwhores

session 27 • 04/23/2022 • 2,326 words

『 📜 』 adventure log

🌞 DAY 7 • 📅 ELEINT 28

📌 Cragmaw Hideout

Happy? Reunion

As we approach, we see Yeemik and a large group of goblins, including Droop's family, exit the cavern as well. Joe is among them, and screams at the guards not to shoot as they draw their bows upon seeing us.

Soren and Yeemik exchange tense greetings. Soren tersely compliments his upgrades to the hideout, and Yeemik states that they have suffered many an attack by Grol's forces, and have always emerged victorious. He admits that though the renovations have held up so far, he is looking to move the goblins elsewhere, since this location is not safe.

Soren checks in about Droop's family joining the Cragmaw goblins. Yeemik is amenable to this. He laments the lack of food for the tribe, and the lack of adventurers to raid on the road. Lera points out they agreed on no more raiding adventurers. Yeemik agrees quickly with this.

Soren reminds Yeemik that the party killed Grol, and invites himself and the party into the cave to speak about "integrating the goblins into civilized life", surprising Yeemik. Before they enter, Soren checks in with Sildar about going back into the cave where he was tortured. Sildar, though reluctant, notes that they need to check on the goblins to see if they were truly reformed.

Soren takes the chance to confront Yeemik about his actions against SIldar, forcing two reluctant apologies out of him for torturing Sildar. Sildar seems accepting of these apologies, but Soren offers to make Yeemik "get on the ground or something", which Sildar quickly declines.

We have this absolute unit of an interaction going on in the background:

Hugh: What did the poop say to the fart

Droop: This is a hard one… ok I gave up

Hugh: WOW you really blew me away

Droop: Oh im sorry im sorry Ill try harder

Hugh: No that's what the poop says to the fart

Droop: OHHHHHHHHHHH that was a good joke! That was hard, maybe an easier one?

Hugh: Ok how does the ocean say hello

Soren: it waves?

Hugh: there ya go, you got it!

Droop: the ocean has arms?!?

Hugh promises to bring an eager Droop to the ocean. Lera attempts to get Soren to apologize to Joe for cutting his ear, based on the same rhetoric he demanded an apology from Yeemik for. Soren initially says a simple apology, which Joe reassures him is fine -- he likes the scar, it makes him look fierce!

Soren, after this, finally fully acknowledges that he was attacking Joe out of misdirected malice (seeing himself in the subjugated goblins), and apologizes sincerely for it. Joe points out that they attacked the party first LMAO and Soren agrees with this.

Into the Cave

Sildar hangs back to keep an eye on Gundren and Jharym as we enter.

We see Is taking care of the wolves, who seem to be much better taken care of. We greet the goblins we know, including Dorrie, who is watching the bridge. We reach the "leader's cave", where we see a hobgoblin sitting off to the side, surprising the party.

Yeemik informs us the hobgoblin was part of a raid sent by Grol, but didn't put up much of a fight and seemed like he might be of use.

Lera speaks to the hobgoblin, who seems hesitant and unsure what he's meant to be doing. She manages to convince Oakvar to work with the goblins, as well as gives the goblins suggestions on how to integrate him into the tribe.

Yeemik offers us a place to sleep, but there are too many bad memories associated with the place lmao. Soren suggests that Yeemik bring the goblin tribe to Neverwinter and find work at the Bad Piano, which had seemed very accepting of Soren.

Soren recalls that Tina complained about being understaffed, and points out that it's a far better alternative than freezing and starving to death in the upcoming winter.

Lera suggests that the goblins might also be able to help out at Grundel's stables, which the party agrees to be a good idea. Sildar and Lera have a dick measuring contest over the blacksmith again.

Yeemik thinks about this, and agrees to journeying to Neverwinter with the party once we return in a few days. Soren reminds him that if the party isn't back within ten days, the goblins should evacuate immediately as that meant the Black Spider won.

We wrap up the conversation and decide to go check on the other goblins in Yeemik's former cave (the torture cave). We pass Dorrie, who mentions that it's close to her birthday. Hugh gives her a bag of ball bearings, which delights her. Soren gives her a raw egg from his shopping bag, which she immediately slurps.

Soren also slurps a raw egg, while looking Sildar in the eye. He is Uncomfort.

Lera speaks with the goblins in the cave, while Jharym expresses doubt over the group bringing Gundren to Wave Echo Cave. Soren flatly refuses to rob Gundren of his autonomy. The group wraps up their business in Cragmaw Hideout and prepare to leave.

Cold and Wet

Soren whinges until Sildar picks him up bridal style and carries him out of the river.

Lera asks Hugh for a joke.

Hugh: What do you call a pony with a cough?

Lera: I don't know, what?

Hugh: A little horse!

We hear Is laugh from the wolf cave LMAO

Once we get outisde, Sildar sets Soren down :c Soren looks very sad.

Sildar reFUSES to RE-CARRY SOREN :C Soren cries a bit more and then sucks it up and starts walking.

Hugh gives Droop back his stuff, as well as the helmet he demanded from Targor. Droop is over the moon! He puts it on immediately and it's way too big for him. Droop asks if the group killed Targor. Hugh says no and he "only did that to ‘make him his little bitch, to show dominance and make them feel small and useless" 👀

The group has a discussion over goblin max growth sizes. Jharym confronts Soren about Soren's seeming dislike of him. Soren asks where Jharym is from -- hoping to fish for an answer that might indicate drow distrust. Jharym states that he's from Luskan -- a heavily drow-populated area -- which surprises and placates Soren a bit.

Soren makes him smell like roses. He thanks him! Lera is proud :tm:

Jharym once more expresses concern over Gundren's going to the cave with us. Soren reasons that he's much safer with a large number of people than alone, which Jharym can't argue with.

Hugh suggests going to Willow Inn to check in on it. Soren is eager to agree -- if only to have a warm bed for the night c: Lera refers to the scary sign they left outside as an effective deterrent. Soren reminds Sildar to ask for gold and magic items from the Lord's Alliance. Sildar agrees.

Our current plan is to visit Willow Inn, Thundertree, then Phandalin.

It gradually darkens, and Sildar asks for hand hold. 😊

Soren once again makes eye contact as he slurps another raw egg snack. Sildar confronts him about this, Soren makes the excuse that Sildar is generally nice to look at. Soren offers Sildar a raw egg, and is REFUSED.

📌 Neverwinter Woods

Setting Up Camp

Hugh offers to cook for everyone, which is met with skepticism from everyone and amused agreement from Soren. Lera tries to offer help, which Hugh refuses. Lera speaks to Gundren, and attempts to hover over him while he handles the Rothe due to distrust of his animal handling skills.

There's a brief squabble over who gets the bedrolls; Hugh and Droop will share one, Soren and Sildar will share one, which makes two extra for Gundren and Jharym.

Soren starts the fire, Droop and Hugh gather firewood. Sildar asks for the Dancing Lights to be moved closer, and Soren chides him on how he "asked for the favor". Sildar is concerned about being rude, until Soren establishes he's just fkin thirsty how many times do we have to teach you this lesson old man and asks for a kiss in return.

Lera shoves herself between Jharym and Gundren due to the group distrust of Jharym currently, confusing Jharym but seems to not tip him off on our distrust. Soren leaves silently to go hunt down some meat for the party.

Hugh sets up his cookware: two pots, and begins to to chop and peel vegetables. Lera notices that Soren is gone and goes into a panic, demanding to know where he's gone; the group doesn't really know, and vaguely points her towards the South. She runs there to see Soren dragging back a deer.

When she expresses disapproval of his sudden departure, he acknowledges that with his track record, he shouldn't have disappeared like that. Lera cleans the deer and Hugh prepares the meat.

Soren sits in Sildar's lap and they speak about future plans. Soren asks about dinner, Hugh establishes that we WILL be eating the onions like apples after they get cooked in the steak soup. After the group gets ready for bed, Hugh says that the meal still has to cook for a few hours, so we'd only be eating during our watches.

Fight Fight Fight

Hugh tells Droop to tackle Sildar, and he does. Sildar easily catches him and questions Hugh.

Hugh memes Sildar's strength again, leading the two Bois to decide to wrestle to determine a winner. (Soren kisses Sildar and casts Enhance Ability quietly on him before this ehe). After a long battle, in the middle of which, to Soren's delight, both men take off their shirts, Hugh emerges victorious.

Soren makes s'mores and calls them whores bc cultural idiot. Everyone loves them and Soren happy ear noises.

Jharym states that due to his exhaustion, he would sleep instead of trance.

🌙 NIGHT 7 • 📅 ELEINT 28

Watch 1: Hugh + Droop

The group goes to sleep. Hugh informs Droop of his deal with Sildar and the dragon / growing wings. He also recounts what happened at Cragmaw Castle to Droop. Droop goes down to wake Soren to get his pot back.

Soren has a time explaining to Droop how to use the Bag of Holding until realizing the pot is currently fucking being used to cook the deer, and goes back to sleep after getting hugged by Droop. They wake Jharym and Gundren at the end of the shift to eat. Jharym seems reluctant to eat the whole ass onion but takes one at Hugh's behest.

Watch 2: Lera

Lera wakes for her watch, eats the food and enjoys it. She practices with her puppets and reads the A Guide to Smiting: Undead book, before waking Soren for his watch.

Watch 3: Soren

Soren makes some croutons with his bread and works on Droop's fox pelt. His watch ends and he tries to gives Sildar more time to sleep, but then gets bored and wakes him up anyway LMAO

Watch 4: Soren + Sildar

Soren is back on his bullshit about drow being big evil scary. Sildar reassures him again that he trusts Soren wholeheartedly. Soren purrs, and then purrs louder when Sildar runs he finger through he hair. Obligatory "giving head" joke.

Sildar leans into the joke lMAOO and Soren alludes to having a Fun Time at Willow Inn, which Sildar doesn't seem opposed to.

Best Way to Die

Soren questions Sildar on the day at Redbrand Hideout, as Sildar was comforting him about the dream in which the party killed Soren. Sildar had said "even if I had to, for some reason, kill you, it wouldn't be [by slicing your throat and letting you bleed out]." Soren questions what his ideal method would have been.

Sildar acknowledges that the way he phrased that was questionable LMAO but states that he would do it painlessly and quickly. Soren seems relieved at this, and reminds Sildar about his paper bird.

The Report

Sildar sends a brief report back to a "Laeral Silverhand" detailing the events with Gundren, what we've learned about the Black Spider (omitting Soren's involvement), the party's help so far, his item requests and an update on Iarno. He omits information about Neverember for fear that it's not secure.

They eat some of the onion soup, which is surprisingly good!!! Good job Hugh

Soren inquires about this Laeral Silverhand, and Sildar states that he trusts her the most out of anyone in Waterdeep to lead the Lord's Alliance right now. Soren wonders if Sildar would lie to the Lord's Alliance to cover Soren's involvement with the Black Spider, as he doubts they'd take him as it is.

Sildar agrees to it if Soren is uncomfortable about the truth, but advises that Soren shouldn't feel ashamed of his past -- that it speaks to who Soren is that he's capable of growth and change. Soren agrees that he no longer wants to hide.

Ropers Babey

Soren returns the book with Vulmar and Aire painting to Sildar, telling him to keep it. Sildar, touched, hugs Soren and opens the book to a page with this absolute unit on it LMFAOO

Soren refers to it as a Roper, an ambush predator of the Underdark. Sildar seems morbidly fascinated with it, stating that a lot of Underdark creatures would be cool to see at a carnival. Soren cites a feywild carnival he's heard about and Sildar is excited about the idea of visiting one someday with Soren.

They talk about going to carnivals, then to see the ocean, then the snow, then maybe go on a ship ride somewhere as Soren has never been on one. Sildar says he wants to visit Chult.

Soren asks him to promise that they'll go see everything together. Sildar kisses him on the forehead to seal the promise.