🤕38. close calls
session 38 • 8/13/2022 • 2,240 words
🌞 DAY 10 • 📅 HARVESTIDE
📌 Threepenny Wood
⏰ "Adventurer" Camp, 11:00AM
The Price of Kindness
Sildar instructs Droop and Vanessa to stay back with their animal companions. He also asks similarly of Soren, who is indignant at the coddling, but agrees and lies low.
Hugh attempts to go ahead to interact with these adventurers, causing Sildar to hurriedly take the "face" of the party. Sildar greets the adventurers cordially, but grows suspicious when they introduce themselves as the "Steel Shadows" mercenary group, as he knows that the Steel Shadows are a group based in the distant Cormyr.
The leader of the "Steel Shadows" explain that they had been waylaid by bandits along the Triboar Trail, and that one of their compatriots was badly injured. They plead with the party for any sort of medical help, promising to give them all their money and weapons.
Sildar, still suspicious, withholds the fact that Will can cast healing magic, but hints that Will has some medical knowledge, and suggests that Will can take a look at the injured man.
Will does so, quickly realizing that there is nothing to be done for the man: there is heavy internal injuries and only higher level regenerative magic can save him now. Still, Will attempts to cast Cure Wounds on the man--though it seems to ease his pain a little, the man remains mortally injured.
One of the adventurers attempts to make small talk with Sildar and Hugh, beckoning them closer to join them by the campfire--though Sildar politely declines, changing the subject and citing the skulks as monsters that they have to be careful of.
Sildar asks about the roast pig; the leader admits freely that they stole it from the faire in hopes that it would help his injured comrade recover faster.
Will reports sadly back to the leader that there is no helping the man unless they are able to get him to a temple or city hospital. The leader, looking suddenly unfriendly, muses over the fact that they now have to find someone else, and attacks Will without hesitation--though Will is able to dodge it, thanks to Hugh's Greataxe of Warning signalling to the whole party of the danger.
Outgunned
Though the party is able to avoid a surprise attack in this manner, Will is unfortunately stuck between several of the mercenaries and takes several heavy blows before being able to escape.
Vanessa, heeding Sildar's instructions, turns tail and runs; but Droop charges in on his lion and immediately takes a hefty hit from one of the mercenaries. Hugh enters a rage, causing rotting flowers, vines and mushrooms to erupt from his feet (mechanically: difficult terrain around him for enemies).
As Hugh squares off with the leader, he manages to deflect the leader's spear into his own shoulder, causing significant damage. The party puts up a valiant fight despite being outnumbered, but when Soren casts a support spell, the mercenaries strategically start to target the backline--hitting Soren with two arrows and dealing significant damage.
The party realizes that the odds are stacked too heavily against them and start to retreat.
Hugh tries to distract as many mercenaries as possible to pave way for Droop and WIll to escape--all the while continually stealing the bow from one poor fucking archer who spends the entire 6-round combat without his bow.
Alarmed by the heavy damage Soren took, Sildar uses his bait-and-switch maneuver to help Soren onto the rothe, before hunkering down in front of Soren to provide cover. No longer having a clear shot at the backline, the mercenaries focus-fire on Hugh, who, despite being extremely tanky in his rage, is almost knocked out.
Soren hesitates briefly before using his ring to cast one of the spells Nezznar had entrusted Soren with in order to kill Sildar, teleporting Hugh to safety before the party begins to run.
A few stray shots are fired into the woods, but none find their mark, and the party soon finds themselves back at the Pudding Faire.
📌 Honeypuddle Village
⏰ Faire Rest Area, 11:00AM
The group rest on some benches near the Archery Range, and reflect solemnly on their close call with death. They try to patch themselves up as best as they can, but combined with the skulk battle, the group is fairly torn up (Hugh and Will, especially.)
Soren attempts to comfort Will, commending him for being kind enough to heal the man. Will, however, laments being gullible and thoroughly regrets it. Sildar explains his suspicions to the group, noting that the mercenaries are likely not the Steel Shadows at all, but rather, some bandits.
They sadly decide to tell the truth to the farmer about his pig. Soren muses over how this is similar to their situation with Gundren--but the party still has yet to inform Gundren that his brother is dead, and Gundren is likely expecting to meet them at Phandalin. While the group mulls over this, Soren tries to cheerily change the subject.
⏰ Livestock Pen, 12:00PM
Bye Pig :(
The party informs Farmer Butterweed of Cameron's demise. He is devastated, and makes to go after the bandits before the party stops him and tells him instead to go to any sort of security / problem-solver at the faire.
He reluctantly agrees. Hugh offers him the standard Hugh-Therapy-Package of salted beef (which the farmer accepts) and ball bearings (which the farmer denies). Hugh does a good job of cheering the farmer up when he reminds the farmer that, given Cameron has 6 piglets, they'll all grow up to be prize hogs.
The farmer begins to walk over the Cowslip Candies stall.
⏰ Pudding Plaza, 12:30PM
The party decide to look for Vanessa at the Storm the Castle event, hoping that she made it out of the woods safely. On the way there, however, they notice a gnome woman sadly holding the frog from before. Upon investigating, we learn that she's Adellyn Barleydew, the Mayor's wife.
She believes that her husband, Mors Barleydew, has been turned into the frog after he confronted an angry purple-haired gnome who was being "right mean" to everyone at the faire. She's devastated and at a loss.
Sildar puts on the circlet they had found at Venomfang's lair, casting Speak with Animals (and thoroughly enjoying being able to cast magic,, babbie) with the frog, which helpfully informs Sildar that it's hungry. Soren produces some Gravy Bits; the frog procdeeds to harmlessly try to eat Sildar's whole hand.
Hugh attempts to discern what happened to him; he's aware that low-level transformative spells (polymorph) ordinarily last up to an hour (it's been five hours), and deduces that this is a higher-level sort of magic.
The party decides to bring the frog to Grandpappy Cowslip, as they're under the impression that he's a high-level spellcaster.
⏰ Cowslip Candies, 12:30PM
Will immediately rejoins the cat pile, along with Droop's lion. Sildar, still under the effect of Speak with Animals, hears the kittens lamenting how "cold and hard" he is now that he's put on his armor, and is very Saddar.
Soren tries to comfort Sildar by saying he looks very nice in his armor. Sildar goes "but but but the cats :((" Soren makes a mental note that Sildar is a Very, Very Cat person.
Sildar speaks to Noli (the lion), who calls him a "hard man" but acknowledges his thanks for the battle before.
Granpappy is thoroughly baffled by the events of the day as the group begins to recount the bandits, skulks and frog incident. He turns Mayor Barleydew back into a human with a click of his fingers, fetches a gnarled walking stick from the back of his cart, and sets off to "teach those young'ins in the woods a lesson".
While Mayor and Mrs Barleydew are busy kissing it out, the party is, understandably, very worried that Grandpappy is going to get clapped by the bandits. Grandpappy, however, is pretty confident it will be "no problem" and sets off.
Mayor Barleydew thanks the group emotionally. Sildar inquires if the Mayor "enjoyed the taste of my hand", which befuddles the poor Mayor, who can't quite remember what he did when he was a 1 int frog.
⏰ Pancake Stand, 1:00PM
As the characters finally begin to head to Storm the Castle, they pass by a pancake stall where they witness the cook, who is chatting excitedly with a customer, accidentally tip a bowl full of butter into the stove, causing a small fire to erupt. Just as it begins catching on the cloth of the stall, however, Will uses Druidcraft to put the fire out.
The cook thanks the party profusely, and offers them a custom pancake. Droop asks for steak; after he is explained to that the pancake stall does not, in fact, have steak, he asks for a steak-shaped one. Will asks for a flower shape, Soren asks for a butterfly shape,,,
Sildar asks for a pancake shaped pancake. U fucking boomer. You joy-starved old man. You absolute fuckin unit. Bruh.
Soren casts prestidigitation on Droop's pancake to make it taste like steak, which he promptly announces to the rest of the patrons, much to the cook's alarm. They ask the cook if she's seen a little girl on a bear, which she promptly responds yes -- they headed towards the Storm the Castle event. Yay!
⏰ Storm the Castle, 1:30PM
To Kill or Not to Kill
As they near the Storm the Castle event, they notice that teams of kids have already started gathering. A few of the parents give the party dirty looks.
Hugh pulls Droop aside to talk to him about not killing any children, because of his newfound 19 strength from the Gauntlets of Ogre Power. Droop doesn't understand; he says that if any of them hit him, or cheat / play dirty, then why can't he kill them?
In the end, they settle on: if someone cheats in the game, Hugh will cheat on DROOP's BEHALF. Droop also puppy-eyes Soren and asks him to help him cheat.
Soren: "say less", and prestidigitates Droop's team's flag to smell like shit.
They see Vanessa and Josie in a corner, sitting by the brown bear. They catch up (both kids hug Droop tightly) but a referee eventually comes by and expresses doubt in letting "a goblin" play. The kids, and the party, both protest at this until the referee shrugs and gives in.
👏 ASHAMED 👏 OF 👏 YOURSELVES 👏
Hugh, upon learning that the referee had been sent by some concerned parents, climbs onto the bleachers and starts going on a tirade about how closed minded they are for reporting Droop to the referee. He brings up good points, and a couple of parents start looking sheepish... until the game starts, in the background, and Droop starts pelting kids with beanbags.
Still, he plays fair and does very well in slipping by enemy lines. Vanessa gets hit by a beanbag (Droop avenges her Immediately) but Josie is close behind. Eventually, he gets to the enemy flag and retrieves it.
At this point, Will and Sildar notice that two of the kids--halfling boys--have beanbags hiding in their pockets. Sildar and Will attempt to get the attention of the referee, but in the ensuing chaos, one of the boys panic-throws his beanbag; it's clearly heavier than a normal "beanbag", and instantly knocks Josie out next to Droop.
Droop loses his Entire Mind, lunging at the twins with intent to kill. Will manages to get there and grapples Droop, successfully stopping him (with Sildar's help) despite Droop's enhanced strength. The referee arrives and stabilizes Josie, all while Droop is wiggling in Will's arms and Will is trying to de-escalate the situation.
Across the field, a kid grabs the red (Droop's team) flag, but falls off the wall and starts crying about how it "smells like doo doo". Soren is briefly very proud of himself,,, before taking in the situation at hand.
Hugh, still on the bleachers, pauses briefly in his tirade about Droop being a good boy and then starts demanding to speak to the parents of the twins.
The situation is explained to the referee, who checks the twins' (Sam and Tam) pockets to find many more rock-filled beanbags. He disqualifies them for life from Storm the Castle, before Hugh starts chasing them across the field demanding to talk to their parents. They're very rude about the whole thing, seemingly unapologetic, though a little shaken at having knocked out a kid.
The referee cites Droop's "feral" behavior as "typical goblin" behavior, expressing regret at letting Droop into the competition. The party tries to defend Droop--and Droop himself is very mad and indignant--but the referee maintains that though the twins "cast the first rock", Droop's behavior was still horrifying.
🌞 DAY 10? • 📅 HARVESTIDE
⏰ Entrance to the Faire, 7:00AM
As the referee’s words fade, for a moment, it seems like the whole world freezes for a moment.
Suddenly, as he blinks, Hugh feels his knuckles hit wood as his hand falls upon the door he knocked on this morning. The party finds themselves standing over a hill, watching over the pudding faire. People bustle around, setting up their stalls for the day.
It’s 7AM, once again.
As the disoriented group gains their bearings,
Hugh: Droop, I want you to know that I am so proud of you for standing up to the bullies--
Soren: Where!! The !!! FUCK, are we?! :)
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