🎣96. chum the water

session 96 • november 07 2023 • 1,921 words

🌑 DAY 29 • 📅 MARPENOTH 19

Star-Crossed

While the drow are having Trauma Hours, Hugh sidles up to Grymus and is like :) "will u make me big again"--referring to when Grymus cast Enlarge on him when fighting the water trolls.

Grymus, who sees the innuendo, says that she could arrange it. When Hugh requests that she do it "every fight every day!" she slyly notes that she might not have the stamina for that.

Hugh wonders if he can do anything for her. Charmed by his earnestness, Grymus agrees to let him know if she thinks of anything. Satisfied, Hugh waddles off.

Thurmond chides his sister for entertaining--or even talking to--a hill dwarf, citing the duergars' deep-seated hatred of the surface dwarves. Grymus laughs it off as having some fun, but notes that Hugh interests her. She idly remarks that it's fine if they have a little fun before returning to "boring" old Gracklestugh.

Thurmond is thoroughly uncomprehending of his sister's attitude. He calls the surfacers "animals" and a "waste of resources".

Amused, Grymus tells Thurmond that they'll always have each other, and he doesn't need to be jealous. Thurmond indignantly denies his jealousy, noting that "no animal would take you away from me".

The Gorts

Hugh, in genuine concern, asks why Thurmond is so angry all the time. Thurmond is like NOOOOOO IM NOT ANGRY >:( Eventually, after much butchering of the name "duergar" on Hugh's part ("drugger. dugger. duger?")--Grymus and Thurmond begin to debate about the "boringness" of Gracklestugh.

Thurmond seems entirely fine with "boring", but Grymus expresses curiosity about the surface lands and rejects the idea of doing "one thing" all their lives, such as mining. Eventually, in frustration, she expresses the desire to see the "GORTS!" -- referring to the "goats" that Hugh has told her that he rears on his farm.

Thurmond, surprised at his sister's conviction, asks the surfacers what the fuck a gort is and refuses to acknowledge their corrections that it's called "goat" instead. He demands that they eventually bring one down to show them. Hugh tells them to come to the surface and see his goat farm instead--and promises to show them the forges of Mithral Hall as well.

Thurmond and Hugh, naturally, get into a dick-measuring match about whether the surface dwarves or duergar have larger forges. Eventually, Hugh tricks Thurmond into agreeing to come to the surface, if only to just see how "small" the surfacers' forges are. Grymus is ecstatic.

Wedding Gifts

The conversation between the drow conclude, with Diana retreating to a corner of the boat silently, seemingly furious at Soren for lying to her this whole time.

Hugh speaks to Myco in his head, wondering if Myco has reported Will's "traitorous mother" to their Queen yet--referring to when Will's celestial mother, Sofiel, implied that Will should cull Soren and Hugh for their demonic affiliations.

Myco informs Hugh that it's released a signal to all members of the colony, and that it would eventually reach the Queen. Hugh wonders how many are of the colony--Myco says that they are all over, everywhere!

Hugh wonders if there are any on the boat right now. Myco says not yet--but soon. Totally not ominous!

Hugh tells Soren that "Myco's colony people are gonna show up and say hi :V" Soren, understandably, is confusion and asks where. Hugh is like "idk :D" LMAO.

Myco gets a little antsy about the fact that the party has still not procured a wedding gift for their queen, Zuggtmoy. Myco suggests bringing some food--like the kuo-toa we're about to kill!

Soren asks if he wants them alive. Myco confirms that "living bodies are better for decay :)". Soren sharply denies this, noting that they can't "bring a cult full of evil fish people" along with them to the Wedding.

Hugh agrees and says they wil just need to bring "alive evil people" instead. In the meantime, Hugh suggests purchasing food with money instead. Myco is very confused by the concept of this.

Hugh explains that you can "sell shiny bits and get other bits in return". He laments that he has no "shiny bits" right now but promises to procure some to obtain food for Myco and his people.

Myco says that it will inform their people about this concept. Look at what you've done, Hugh, you've introduced capitalism to the myconids! :/

Pyrimo

Diana, staring into the water, sees an eel that quickly disappears into red mist. She points out the oddity to Soren, and wonders if the eels here are magical.

Soren, recognizing this as a telltale sign of Pyrimo swarms, cuts his palm and drops some blood into the water. When it disappears instantly in a flurry of movement, Soren warns the party of the Pyrimo nearby-- near-invisible, piranha-like fish that travel in swarms and can strip the flesh from anything in seconds.

As Soren is drily warning the group that "as long as you keep your arms and legs inside the boat, you'll be fine--", he gets grabbed by a watery tentacle and dragged into the lake.

How Weird

We come under attack by water-like elemental slime creatures that Will recognizes as Water Weirds. As Soren flounders in the water (he can't swim lmao) and the Weirds try to drown him, Bebop starts rowing as fast as he can, leaving Soren behind LMAO.

Will tells Bebop to stop and manages to drag Soren out of the water before being dragged in himself.

Sildar struggles to pull Will out of the Weirds' grasp, while a raging Hugh leaps into the water and attacks them ferociously, backed by Diana's Guiding Bolts. Nezznar refrains from joining the fight once he sees that Soren is safe LMAO.

We eventually kill the Weirds. Diana tends to Hugh's and Droop's wounds, thoroughly impressed with their combat prowess. Soren, relieved from being saved from drowning, hugs Will--Will is surprised, but hugs back.

For Love

Forgiveness

Diana approaches Soren after things have calmed down, and informs him that she has been thinking things over, and has decided to forgive him. She further explains that she was angry and doesn't like being lied to, but that she can understand wanting to protect the ones you love.

Soren gratefully accepts her forgiveness; Diana then proceeds to explain her plan of getting a drow-disguise in order to get into Menzoberranzan to see if her father is still alive.

Soren is disapproving that she is still determined to go into Menzoberranzan, and asks why her father had left in the first place. Diana admits that she has no idea, that he made frequent "business trips" to and from the Underdark.

Firmly, Soren explains what horrors will befall her if the drow of Menzoberranzan catch a half-drow pretending to be one of them. Will adds that it's dangerous for her to go. Seemingly nonplussed, Diana notes that she has charm and beauty and will be able to fit right in.

Changing gears to try and stop her, Soren asks about and learns that Diana's father has been missing for two months. Brusquely, he notes that if he was caught doing some manner of treachery against Lolth--or if his siring a half-drow on the surface was discovered--he is probably no longer "who he was" two months ago, due to the likely torture and punishment he has undergone.

Diana wonders if he might also have been turned into another form, eyeing Nezznar specifically, much to the discomcort of everyone involved. Diana calls Lolth a hateful bitch--Nezznar flinches, Soren does not.

A Beautiful City

Soren points out that Diana's father, if he was a decent person, would not want his daughter to throw away her life. Embodying her position as a cleric of the goddess of love, Diana delivers an incredible, heartfelt speech about how she would not give up, that she needs to save her father (need transcript).

Though moved, Soren firmly tells her that he would not deliver another half-drow to the gates of Menzoberranzan, referring to how he had once led one to sacrifice at the hands of Lolth, something he feels deeply guilty about. He remarks that "if you want to die in the worst possible way, in the world's worst possible place, then I want no part of it".

Mutely, Diana asks if Soren had lied when he'd said Menzoberranzan was a beautiful city. When Soren confirms Menzoberranzan's beauty, Diana says that she would not regret dying in a beautiful city.

A Fool's Mission

Soren continues to try and dissuade Diana, pointing out that they'll catch her because she's as far from a real drow as one can get. Diana wonders if Soren is calling her weak, indignantly saying "I've never felt stronger."

Soren demands to know what Diana would do to keep up the facade, citing increasingly horrifying actions. When Diana cannot decisively convince him that she would be able to commit atrocities, Soren bitterly explains that he once knew a drow like her--too soft to do what needed to be done--and that it did not end up well for her.

Soren cites the surfacer saying "the only good drow is a dead drow"--as something that the drow and surfacers can agree on: the Underdark devours people; the best thing you can do for those it took from you, is keep living.

Diana is unmoved by his declaration, and insists that she will retrieve her father from Menzoberranzan. Will asks if she has any information on where he might be, where he was from; Diana admits once more that she does not know, but remains confident that if she learns some basic illusion magic, she would be able to charm her way into the city.

She pleads with Soren to at least help her with that. Soren, however, firmly washes his head of Menzoberranzan and states that he never wants to come back or think about it.

Ooze Cocaine

We eventually reach the island; there's not much on it except for some rocks and strange flora / fungi. When she asks for some help, Will helps Diana disembark from the boat by holding her hand.

Bebop brings us to a pool of water in the middle of the island and just fucken. jumps in. Hugh follows suit IMMEDIATELY. The rest of us stand around the rockpool and just stare into its depths hesitantly. Will lights a rock up with the Light cantrip and throws it in there, it falls seemingly endlessly.

Eventually, when Hugh does not resurface for a minute, Will reluctantly gets in and immediately sees a blob hurtling towards him in the darkness. In alarm, he re-casts Light and finds that it is Hugh, who returns and informs us that there is NO goddamn WAY we are making that swim.

Meanwhile, Soren has decided to brave the waters as well--but cannot swim, and clings to the side of the rock pool like a sad wet kitten until Sildar helps him out.

Bebop eventually returns and is confused that we did not follow. After a dreadfully long time of getting him to understand that we don't have gills and can't breathe underwater like he can, Bebop picks up some strange tube-like plants and squeezes the goo out of it, then proceeds to try and shove it up Diana's nose.

Diana is, understandably, not ok with this.

Soren eventually realizes that Bebop could be trying to help us breathe underwater, and volunteers to be the first to try the mystery plant.

Soren conducts the standard drow poison test (which, presumably, Nezznar taught him and has forced him to use to test his food) and deems the plant safe.