🪶91. best wingman

session 91 • september 19 2023 • 967 words

🌑 NIGHT 28 • 📅 MARPENOTH 18

Throw Rocks

Still distressed over the injuries that Sildar incurred in the kuo-toa fight (and the fact that he hadn't noticed Sildar in danger), Soren tries to process some Healer Boon into a Potion of Healing--though the process will take hours.

Sildar reassures Soren that he's fine, but wryly wonders if Soren has forgotten that they were married--referring to when Soren introduced himself as "Catanzaro" instead of "Hallwinter", as he had been.

Soren reasons that their closeness is best not flaunted, especially in their dire circumstances, and especially to a surfacer like Diana. Sildar is vexed at the idea of not even being able to show their affection for each other anymore; Soren stays firm that their relationship should stay hidden.

Sildar calls DIANA OVER AND IS LIKE "girl are you ok with two men marrying each other" LMAOOO can't believe Sildar's first interaction with Diana is canonically "are u homophobia".

Diana--cleric of Sune, the Goddess of Love--of course, is like YEAH!!! FANTASTIC!!

Sildar then inquires about the union between a drow and human. Diana notes that a union between a drow and human made her, and she's really great, so 👍 Incredible. We love her. Diana expresses a love for star-crossed relationships.

Soren, dissatisfied still, asks her if she or her parents were ostracized in Waterdeep for the inter-racial union--if "people didn't throw rocks at you on the street?" Diana is aghast and expresses that there was no such thing--though this is likely because she was a noble and people generally minded their ettiquette with her. She did note that sometimes people thought she was a full-drow and called her names.

Finally, Soren breaks, and admits that "I could deal with some name-calling", and kisses Sildar on the lips, much to Diana's delight. Diana wants to get them married asap, best and biggest Sordar shipper ever.

Mushroom Stew

The group explains that they're going to Sloopbloodop for supplies. Diana is distraught that they are going to "stinky fish village of fishmen who tried to sacrifice her".

Ront claims that he can protect the party ("Ront Strong!"). Diana is made more distraught by his constant referral to himself in third-person. Soren tells Ront to stfu and go eat his fish reward essentially, and tries to feed him the kuo-toa. Ront doesn't want to eat the kuo-toa bc stinky fish :( Soren says that's all he's getting.

In contrast, Soren politely asks Diana what food she wants, except the group only has like. bug meat and mushrooms. Diana says she really misses her dad's mushroom stew, and Soren promises to try and cook some up for her.

All That Glitters

Diana notices Glitter with Will, and asks to pet her! Will lets her, and Diana and Will get to talking about love for animals. Will laments his lost Bag of Tricks--accidentally explaining it as "animals stuff in a bag", which alarms Diana.

Glitter, a natural show-off, enlarges herself; Diana and Will enjoy the Maximum Fluff. Hugh and Droop inform Diana solemnly that Glitter is actually a whole ass God, still believing her to be an avatar of Glittergold.

Will is like "no she's notttttt" and they get into this whole argument again. Will casts Speak with Animals to ask Glitter if she's a god; Glitter only giggles. Unfortunately, when Buppido (with the kids in tow, as usual), and Soren approach, Glitter recoils, noting that they all smell "like rotten" and refusing to let the kids pet her. She turns back into her small form and hides.

Back to their conversation about pets, Diana says she had 5 cats and lots of horses. Hugh explains he had hundreds of goats, as he was a goat farmer. Diana inquires about Sildar's occupation; Sildar explains that he was a Lord's Alliance agent stationed in Neverwinter.

Diana wonders if he plans to move there "with his husband"; hearing the title said out loud for the first time makes Soren choke up.

Diana is excited abt this and asks if she can officiate the wedding ; ; aaaa. Hugh offers to be the judge. Are there judges at weddings DLKFJSD

Basement Boyfriend

Diana inquires if Will has ever had anyone on the surface; Will is confused until Diana clarifies that she means a lover. When Will hesitates to answer, Hugh calls Will a virgin, which makes him blush.

Diana calls Will cute for getting all blushy, which makes him more flustered.

As we inquire more about past lovers, Diana CASUALLY drops that she had an ex-boyfriend in Waterdeep named Ederis, who lived in a basement and WAS PLOTTING TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD?? Sildar, concerned, asks if she turned him in to the authorities of the city. Diana says "o no I didn't lol" LMAOO

The Spice of Life

Soren is cooking the mushroom stew. Until now, he has been focusing largely on survival and rationing the food, and has been just cooking it to edible / safe-to-eat standards without much fanfare. Wanting to make a good impression on Diana--seeing her as a valuable asset and healer--however, he puts more effort into it, even using some cream from the Alchemist Jug.

Soren finishes the mushroom stew and serves it, somewhat nervously, to Diana. Diana is very nice and excited about it, and, upon tasting it, declares the best stew she's had since her father left.

Soren is astonished and gets very blushy / elf-ear-flick-y about this; with Diana having reignited some of the passion he used to have about cooking good food for the party (like at Willow Inn and Honeypuddle.)

Winging It

As Diana and Will engage in small talk, Hugh comes over and is like "hi :) are u done talking? Anyway Will wants to date you so bad" and leaves LMAOO

Will just dies.